When Illogic Makes the Best Logic
by Zelda-FF
Summary: Estonia is a clever and rational man...however, he's surrounded by all sorts of illogic, one of them being Poland.


Disclaimer: Whadda ya know? I don't own Hetalia.

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><p><strong>When Illogic makes the Best Logic: The Cleverbot<strong>

The blond poked his head around the corner to look into the living room/study, growling under his breath at the sight. Estonia was in complete darkness, save for the blindingly bright light from the computer sitting in front of him with which he was inseparable. If Feliks got his way, it wouldn't be like that for long; his boyfriend had been numbly clicking and typing on it for _hours_, and he was tired of waiting (his least favorite activity).

He covered the distance between them-eyebrow twitching in annoyance when Eduard didn't even acknowledge him-, and, as seductively as possible, wrapped his arms around the bespectacled man's shoulders. The Polish male rested his chin on the head of neat blond hair, nuzzling him slightly.

"Babe," he half-whined, half-purred, "It's totally late, like-" his sharp green eyes noted the time displayed in the corner of the screen: 10:24 "-almost eleven!"

"I'll stop at eleven then." Eduard replied in an automatic monotone, not taking his dull eyes from the screen nor ceasing the rapid tapping on the well-worn keyboard.

Poland pouted, beginning to grow impatient and annoyed at being ignored. "Then I change my mind. I want you to like, get your lazy ass off the computer and in bed _now_." he ordered, then seized a lock of his hair with his teeth, tugging gently.

"I'm not tired, Feliks. And do you mind? I'd rather not have your saliva in my hair."

"Y-yeah? Well you're totally not getting my saliva anywhere else, either!" Poland snapped, detaching himself from his boyfriend and storming off, making sure the other could hear his intentionally heavy footsteps.

Estonia sighed, but wasn't worried; he'd be back within ten minutes, his tantrums were-thank God-usually short lived. Returning to his mission at hand, he examined the screen and carefully read the blue text just above the reply box.

"I am not a robot, I am a dog."

_A completely illogical and a hollow argument,_ Eduard scoffed.

"Dogs do not have fingers and therefore cannot type."

Moments later:

"I am a special dog."

He groaned in frustration. It was useless; it was like talking to Feliks on caffeine. His fingers tapped on the edge of the desk, the Estonian deep in thought. He couldn't give up now, he was slowly, gradually cornering it to trapping it in it's own web of lies. Eduard was almost ready to pounce.

As he resumed his furious typing, he heard a pair of slippers pad up from behind, the person wearing them uncharacteristically quiet. He swiftly pressed the enter button then turned in his chair to face the little blond. Feliks was wearing his-and Estonia's-favorite pink nightie with spaghetti straps that exposed his feminine collar bone, the lacy hem brushing his mid-thighs. His small but battle-worn hands were clasped and fidgeting as if nervous.

"Umm…so like, what are you doing anyway?" he asked somewhat timidly, tentatively leaning in to look at the screen. Poland momentarily glanced over at Estonia, but was unable to make eye contact because of the light reflecting from his glasses. It made him look so serious and scary and not unlike Sweden (which Poland didn't like all that much). Though Feliks thought his glasses made Eduard look pretty damn sexy most of the time, he also liked being able to see those midnight blue eyes sparkling at him.

"Trying to get the Cleverbot to admit that is, in fact a robot."

Feliks blinked. "Like, come again?"

"It's more difficult than it sounds, I assure you. It avoids all my questions or replies with nonsense answers...it's absolutely impossible!" he growled, wrenching his glasses off and massaging his eyelids.

"But it like, has the word 'bot' in it's name! It can't be that hard, you're just like, over-thinking it or something…lemme try," Without waiting for permission, he plopped himself down onto Estonia's lap and took over the keyboard, frowning thoughtfully for a minute before giving birth to his masterpiece.

"like poland's rule says that you have to admit youre a robot"

He read it over and gave the screen a decisive nod, tapping the enter button as Estonia rolled his eyes. There was no way that it'd actually-

"In accordance with Poland's rule, I admit that I am a robot."

The male with a bouncing, cheering Pole in his lap was stunned into silence. He'd spent _two whole hours_ using reason and his smarts to try to force the silly website out of denial and his ditz of a boyfriend simply popped in, typed a ridiculous and senseless demand, and accomplished his goal within seconds.

"B-but..." he didn't know whether he was disappointed or just simply confused; his face displayed a mix of both.

"Like, you're welcome!" Feliks sang, hopping up from his seat to give the Estonian a peck on the cheek before skipping from the room.

He chuckled when he realized his fatal error. Combating nonsense with logic was useless; no wonder Germany and England always failed to reign in the insanity during World Summits. With an amused smile, he promptly closed his Internet browser (Firefox FTW) and shut the desktop computer down. Hearing an incomprehensible but obviously impatient voice from what he could only assume was their bedroom (well, _his_-but Poland had claimed it as his own as well), the Baltic nation left the multi-purpose room and entered the hallway..

Taking his time, Eduard removed his blue flannel pajama pants from the hall closet and changed into them. He slipped his white button-down dress shirt off, revealing a pale, lean torso. He wasn't ripped like the manly America or Germany by any means, but he didn't have a soft stomach like the effeminate blond waiting for him.

"Jeez, you're totally the slowest person like, ever-" Feliks stopped complaining mid-sentence when he saw the man in the doorway. Automatically, the cheeky Polish male ran a hand through his hair and leaned back into a lying position. He crossed his legs in what he hoped was a seductive fashion; he'd get the Estonian's pulse racing.

"Poland's rule says to get your super sexy bod over here like, _now_." he purred, putting on his best 'come hither' face and batting his half-lidded eyes.

"Estonia's rule states that all bossy Poles must be punished." he countered, putting his hands on his hips and smirking. Poland, suddenly defiant, shook his head, trying to maintain a sour pout. Inwardly, he was a puddle of Polish goo.

"Yeah, right!" Feliks retorted sassily, sticking his tongue out, "Poland's rule like, cancels out Estonia's rule and makes it totally null and void everywhere in Estonia."

Eduard quirked an eyebrow playfully and shook his head; he wasn't even about to try to understand the petit man, not that that was even possible.

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><p>AN: ESTPOL. 3 I actually think this is an awesome pairing. :,D (I wrote PolEst, but then I realized it kinda looks like "molest". xDDD) But um. Yay another one-shot. This has actually existed for a while, I just had to edit it. Which I hate doing.

So I wrote this on my iPod during a 4 hr car ride. Go me. It was only like 900-something words on my "Notes" app. Yes, I counted the words-I was that bored :p I came up with the idea when I was talking to the Cleverbot the other day and no matter what I did (including lying) I couldn't get it to say "I am a robot."

xD Poland is just that awesome. Or maybe the Cleverbot was telepathic and decided to help him out. ;D


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